Fill in the blank

And with the x pick of the third round, the _____________ select Tim Tebow, Quarterback, Florida.

Tim Tebow wants to play quarterback in the NFL. After the senior bowl awkwardness, everyone except for Tim Tebow knows that just isn't going to happen. But this kid is a gamer, a born leader, and he will make an impact-- but where?

I've heard that Jacksonville is so desperate to boost ticket sales that they might take the hometown boy. This would be consistent with the Jaguars' paying good money for bad "skill position players" but it seems like a stretch to me. They need to fill other holes.

Some people have pointed toward New England because the Patriots incorporate elements of the Florida Gators' offense and they also like utility players. Possible, but the Pats don't have a third rounder this year. Would they really trade up to get Tebow? Not likely.


You know who should take Tebow?


Wait for it....

The Miami Dolphins! Tebow is perfect for them. After the Fins' season went down when Ronnie Brown did, they realized that their offense requires two things, either RBs who can throw or QBs who can run. Tebow fits this perfectly. Deep down, even Tebow might agree this is the best fin.

Automatic cat feeder

Starting about an hour before her scheduled feeding times, my 10 year old cat Roxy would begin whining, following me around the house, and generally making herself a nuisance. Also, if I was gone at work, school, or Amanda's house, someone else would have to feed Roxy and deal with the whining. At Amanda's suggestion, I began looking into automatic feeders.

Did you know you can spend over $250 on an automatic pet feeder? Pretty ridiculous.

At a price of $34, this Lentek 6-day feeder works great! It's not something that makes immediate sense when you open it and I have concerns about durability over the long term but it holds six "feedings-worth" and will cycle every 6, 12, or 24 hours. It's relatively cat proof and could be made much moreso with duct tape if necessary.

At precisely 6am and 6pm Roxy gets her dinner. Since I never let her see me stocking the feeder, she has come to accept that the machine is now in charge of distributing food. After one week of use, the amount of whining has dropped considerably. Also, now I can leave for a night or two without having to worry about whether she'll get her two meals a day or whether she'll con the innocent into giving her more.  Now if only I could get an automatic poop scooper for $34.

Why poker is *still* profitable

Since poker is a negative sum game, online poker sites must constantly advertise in order to get new blood. (Why haven't brick and mortar casinos figured this out?).

One form of marketing includes paying the buy-ins for random players and "celebrities" in order to increase media coverage of an event for which one has a large presence. At the $10,000 + $300 main event in Wednesday's PokerStars Caribbean Adventure, 8 lucky schmucks will find themselves across the table from these poker badasses.

1. Joseph Kahn

Joseph Kahn is a big shot music video director best known for directing Britney Spears' "Toxic," Lady Gaga's "Love Game," and Muse's "Knights of Cydonia." He has not, however, directed any runs at tournament titles. Total earnings: $0

2. Orel Hershiser

This Golden Glover, CY Young Award winner, and World Series MVP winning pitcher has infinitely more poker experience than Joseph Kahn. A regular at the $2-$5 live tables in Vegas, Hershiser is still vastly weaker than most players at a big buy-in event. A home run off this former sinkerball master could get 2010 off to an amazing start.

3. Sautron Ralph

Sautron Ralph is listed on the pokerstars website as one of several players who managed to parlay a freeroll tournament into another tournament into a few other tournaments to get into the main event. These players inevitably suck. Really badly. Those with actual poker skill rarely invest time on these types of freerolls. A Google search for "Sautron Ralph" and poker netted zero results. Zero! Who the hell is Sautron Ralph you ask? He is no one. He is not Chris Moneymaker. He is dead money.

Also playing: Boris "Bankroll Buster Becker, Fatima "The other Melo" De Melo, Mats "I check harder" Sundin, Teddy "Footballin" Sheringham, and about 10 no-name freeroll winners.