The week in review

Spring is in the air and life is good. No time for blogs but I wanted to let you know what's been going on:

Tonight I struck out looking to end the game in slow pitch softball. Only four members of my family and 12 or so friends witnessed. Anticipated recovery time: 6 months.

There is someone new in my life. Details to follow.

After a month of good behavior, the cat is officially out of the doghouse.

My professor-to-be just emailed, recommending that everyone "read the first five chapters." School starts in 5 days.

The Denver Nuggets are crushing and so are my fake money bball bets.

No new music in a while. Please tell me about something good.

I get my new tattoo in 20 days.

Checking things off the list

I have a bucket list. Perhaps I'll post part or all of it at some point. The list is constantly being amended as I discover new and (potentially) awesome activities.

On Wednesday night I checked off an activity which had been on the list for less than 10 minutes:

• Eat grilled eel liver

Unagi kimoyaki tastes exactly the way one would expect: chewy, dense, and slimy. It also tastes quite salty, which I found surprising because unagi refers to freshwater eels.

Check!

Frankie Manning (1914-2009)

Swing dance legend Frankie Manning died this morning. Of all the greats, I believe Frankie touched more lives than any other in this dance. This is certainly the case for me. Frankie is credited with inventing the air step and bringing synchronized lindy hop routines to swing. These two elements formed the cornerstone of my 8 years of competitive and social lindy hop.

As you can see from this clip, while an old man's body may be slowing down, his passion and enthusiasm remain.


This is the famous clip, perhaps the most studied in all of Lindy Hop. Frankie is the dancer in the overalls.

Frankie, you were a wonderful ambassador and a patient teacher. Your love for dance and life propelled us all. In your grace, joy, creativity, and your incredible talent, you embodied that for which we all strove. If there is a life after death, I fully expect you to be at the front of the dancehall, swinging away.

Josh McCylon

Head coach Josh McDaniels is a Cylon sent from the New England Patriots to destroy Bronco Nation. This is the only remaining explanation for an off-season in which McDaniels has ruthlessly and efficiently lain waste to an entire organization. He inherited one of the worst defenses in NFL history and an inefficient but ridiculously talented offense. Instead of focusing on improving the defense, Coach Mac squabbled with pro bowl QB Jay Cutler and then ran him out of town. A questionable move at best but Bronco fans murmured that with all of Denver's upcoming draft picks, we'd have a great chance to build a talented defense and field a competitive team. McDaniels had other plans.

He spent the offseason bringing in three running backs, a safety, cornerback. Odd moves that I disagreed with, but perhaps defensible.

Then came the two day coup de grace: the 2009 NFL Draft.

Round 1: McDaniels snubs Longhorns manbeast Brian Orakpo, instead reaching for Knowshon Moreno, a running back. With Ryan Torain, Peyton Hillis and the three RBs McDaniels already signed, I cannot think of a position less in need of first round talent. McD at least chooses a D-lineman with the 18th pick.



Round 2: The Broncos trade their own 2010 first round draft pick to get defensive back Alphonso Smith. If the Broncos do poorly this year as expected, that 2010 pick could easily be in the top 10. Then McDaniels continues to ignore the defensive line and drafts another Safety!! Bent upon further wreckage, the profligate coach trades two third round picks to get a Tight End **correction**(and a fourth round pick), another position in which the broncos are stacked (Daniel Graham, Tony Sheffler, Jeb Putzier)

Round 3: Whoops, traded both of those picks away.



Round 4: Denver drafts another safety, then continues ignoring gaping wounds and grabs an offensive lineman. Broncos clearly contending for worst draft ever.

Rounds 5, 6, 7: The last three picks (WR, QB, C) spent on offense? McMasterfully played, sir. Truly, truly impressive.

To complete his mission and send the Broncos franchise to a decade of mediocrity, McDaniels need only assasinate Champ Bailey and Ryan Clady, the Broncos only remaining studs.

I don't have insomnia

but I strongly dislike going to bed.

I fight it as long as possible.

Success Metric

The new Metric album is very solid.

I'm amazed that this band hasn't blown up yet. Take everything you like about the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and (usually) remove the screaming. That's Metric. Frontwoman Emily Haynes combines great riffs, witty lyrics, and an effortlessly changing sound with what I'm choosing to call "Listenability," that immeasurable quality that prevents you from hating the song that you loved two weeks ago.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

This is not the official Trumie prediction post (please, it's April) but last night, the NFL released the 2009 Denver Broncos Schedule. Ouch, Baby. There is a very ugly potential 0-8 stretch looming here.

Week	Day	Date	Opponent	TV
1	Sun.	Sept. 13th	at Cincinnati	CBS4
2	Sun.	Sept. 20th	vs Cleveland	CBS4
3	Sun.	Sept. 27th	at Oakland	CBS4
4	Sun.	Oct. 4th	vs Dallas	FOX
5	Sun.	Oct. 11th	vs New England	CBS4
6	Mon.	Oct. 19th	at San Diego	ESPN
7	BYE
8	Sun.	Nov. 1st	at Baltimore	CBS4
9	Mon.	Nov. 9th	vs Pittsburgh	ESPN
10	Sun.	Nov. 15th	at Washington	CBS4
11	Sun.	Nov. 22nd	vs San Diego	CBS4
12	Thurs.	Nov. 26th	vs N.Y. Giants	NFLN
13	Sun.	Dec. 6th	at Kansas City	CBS4
14	Sun.	Dec. 13th	at Indianapolis	CBS4
15	Sun.	Dec. 20th	vs Oakland	CBS4
16	Sun.	Dec. 27th	at Philadelphia	CBS4
17	Sun.	Jan. 3rd	vs Kansas City	CBS4

"Well I wouldn't tell it..."

My grandmother pulls out this phrase when she hears of people willfully divulging dirty or embarrassing facts about themselves or their family, or occasionally someone else's family.

This strikes at the very heart of blog ethics. What is permissible? Can I chronicle stories in which other people fail? What if one day they read it? For that matter, what should I write about myself? Dare I divulge that I have insecurities and opinions, that I don't always toe the line, that I have a soul?


While a few people such as "Perez Hilton" have made careers out of blogging about the misadventures of others (namely celebrities) most people's blogs only contain VeryVanilla content about themselves and perhaps their friends or loved ones. They rarely post incriminating photos or admit to having any weaknesses and they never post about other people's shortcomings.



Also, most people's blogs suck. Like vegan cookies, when you strip out all the good stuff, you are left with pure cardboard. Mmmmmmmm...

I often find myself torn. I want to post what I'm actually thinking. I want to post about the noteworthy things that I and others say and do. Sexy, dirty, funny, tearful stories involving colorful characters. That's what's interesting. That's what we love about Twain and Tom Robbins. This is why America is infatuated with reality t.v. I never had such a devoted readership as when I got my heart ripped out 16 months ago. People couldn't wait for the next installment of woe is me. As for others, can they really exist on eggshells, worried about what someone might say?

But where to draw the line? Some lowly Philadelphia Eagles employee was recently fired because his facebook status referred to the Eagles as being stupid for trading Brian Dawkins. Now I never call my employer stupid because that's just asking for it. But when I posted a New Year's Eve photo of me sipping the completely legal libation that passes for absinthe in this country, no less than 5 people asked me if I was sure I wanted that out there.

Certain members of my family filter my blog and then pass the purified portions on to other members. While they mean no harm and only want to spread the (g-rated) news, it's hard not to feel like they are ashamed.



I curse. I make mistakes. I have a huge ass tattoo on my chest (that I almost cried getting). I can also work harder better faster stronger than any corporate mollusc. I am jack's unadulterated opinion.

Dad's Easter Letter on Canyoneering

This is an email that my father sent to the parents of Boy Scout Troop 171 in response to some drama queen's piece in the NY Times. My two cents: This NY Times writer is enthusiastic and awestruck-- and the canyons need people like that. But he has no clue what he is doing. Pardon me for being protective but when ignorance meets canyoneering, one usually sees either dead newbs or damaged wilderness. I've walked by too many pictographs that have been destroyed by yokels with high powered rifles. I digress.

Here's my dad's letter:

Dear Troop 171 Family,

_______, mother of Scout ________, sent me a link to the lead article in today's New York Times Travel Section, which is about the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument GSENM), where the Mini Adventure crew spent a delightful Spring Break this year. Here are a few thoughts on the piece and canyons in general.

A photo of Spooky Canyon fills half of the front page of the Travel Section. My heart fell upon seeing that photo, for it means that more people will invade that area and degrade it. I know that my attitude is a selfish one, but these desert areas are delicate and cannot stand a lot of traffic. Troop 171 used to hike Paria Canyon (which we are planning to do next Spring Break) with no permits necessary, but then it appeared twice on the cover of Backpacker Magazine and now is very difficult to gain access. When I put up a website about last summer's ________ Canyon trip, I purposely named that area "Beast Canyon" and did not refer to it by name.

Here are a few lines from the NYT article and some crusty comments from a Troop 171 desert rat:

"When I made a pilgrimage there last summer, I didn’t pass a single car, let alone a sign of human habitation." That's because you went in the summer, ace. Anyone with any sense goes to GSENM in the spring or fall, as the troop does. You also didn't mention the possibility of flash floods, which periodically kill people, and are most likely during summer months. That's another reason we do Utah canyons in the spring. Take a look at this video of a GSENM canyon flash flood. If someone were in Spooky when one of those came through, he'd be toast.

"After a few false leads, I made it to Peek-a-Boo Canyon, whose hard-to-spot entrance was surrounded by what looked like a shallow pool." Dude, the entrance to Pee-A-Boo is about 30 feet high.

"I took a step in and sank straight up to my thighs in thick mud." Wish we had been there to see that. If you went desert hiking by yourself, that was Mistake Number Two. See Aaron Ralston for possible consequences. Suggest you carry a sharp knife on future solo hikes.

"As the sun continued to climb in the sky, I wished for my own Ute guide — or at least a GPS tracking system." How about a map?

"Hugging the canyon wall for shade, I pressed on heroically and found Spooky Canyon, named for its otherworldly atmosphere. It was only an 18-inch-wide crack in the rock, but to me it yawned like the gateway to Shangri-La." Heroically? A few weeks ago we had a bunch of 12-year-olds who ate that canyon up. And in 2008 our crew hiked Spooky in the daytime and then came back to do it again in the dark. If you are a hero, then our Scouts are superheroes.

"Finally, I drank the last of my water and staggered across the rock like a sun-struck character out of “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.” I was parched, scratched, encrusted with mud — but triumphant." No, I'd say you were more like someone from "City Slickers."

* * *

One over-excited NYT writer aside, GSENM is a wonderful place to go, as a Scout troop or a family. My wife and I went there last fall and hiked Spooky and Peek-A-Boo. It's amazing to me how many travelers will make a beeline from national park to national park, ignoring these wonderful canyons that always have only a fraction of the human traffic. The book that the Troop uses to select our Spring Break destinations is a self-published book by Michael Kelsey.

Kelsey is an odd duck--he spells "photo" as "foto" and has a very idiosyncratic style of writing, but he is The Man when it comes to canyons. To explore all of the canyons he chronicles, he apparently runs down them. When the Troop first did __________ over a decade ago, we noted that Kelsey hiked it in 17 hours, so we figured it might take our rugged crew three days. It took five. As Scout ______, who shows some promise as a phrase-maker himself, put it last summer, __________ is "Having fun while nature kicks your arse."

I have several Kelsey books and others on Utah if anyone would like to borrow them.

Pardon this longwinded post on a gray Easter morning. I take enormous joy and satisfaction from these desert trips. I'm used to going with the older Scouts, but hiking with the younger guys has its own delights. As fathers Tom Kroenke and Mark Horwitch and I squeezed our way through Spooky Canyon not three weeks ago, we could hear the Scouts up ahead of us encouraging each other as they climbed over and under the various obstacles. Shouts of "This is awesome!" and laughter filled the air. They had a wonderful time, and so did I. I'm already thinking about next year's trip.

Yours in canyoneering,

Jeff

Grindhouse

[Chorus: Lil Wayne]
And I'm grindin till I'm tired
Cuz they say you ain't grindin till you die
So I'm grindin
My eyes wide
Lookin to find
A way through the day
A life for the night
Dear Lord you've done took so many of my people
I'm just wonderin'
Why you haven't takin' my life my life
Like what the hell am I doin' right

Recently I have begun building Excel spreadsheets to assist in making decision models. This is actually quite fun. Incidentally, does anyone know a way to easily import data (e.g. NFL scores by quarter) from websites into Excel? This would save me a lot of time.

Believe it or not...

this post is about the wallpaper. I have wanted to do one wall of my bedroom like this for years. I first saw something similar at the Drake Hotel in Toronto, a dark, swank, funky place to drink and screw, see and be seen. Currently my bedroom is not incorporating enough of those activities.

stART me up

welcome to the first post entitled stART me up, a review of art that is awesome.

Five days ago, I attempted a First Friday Art Walk. Unlike the first time I went, on this occasion, the art was almost as miserable as the weather and a lot less interesting. Even the people watching opportunities ran a little under expectations. That said, I'll definitely be back and here are two of the reasons why:



Matthew Achziger. His about me section has enough typos to make you wince twice (twince?). But people, you don't go to see him write. His artwork is great! Better viewed than described, this link will take you to his portfolio and my favorite piece.(NSFWIYWICP!) notsafeforworkifyourworkiscompletelypathetic



Mark Penner-Howell was without a doubt the shining star last Friday night. He combines many of the things I love to see in artwork: irony, bright colors, a little retro and a lot of talent. I saw a few of these paintings up close and the level of detail was absolutely staggering. MPH has a propensity to juxtapose classic, innocent-looking Americana with stark, nuclear landscapes and/or uncomfortable positions. I think it's swell.