Dear potential renters

When you call the number on the sign in my yard, don't tell me that you let yourself through the gate, went in the back yard, tried the door to the garage, found it unlocked, and thought it would be a good idea to let yourself into my house so you could check the place out unsupervised. Glad you liked it enough to call and start negotiating, you creeps.

Dear former renters,

WTF YFI!!!!

MBA Prom

Recently Amanda and I attended the "Leeds School of Business MBA Winter Formal," or as I like to call it, "BizProm." I began the night trying to stave off a migraine but determined to have fun.

Amanda and I looked sharp. She in simple cream colored sexy dress with shoes probably stolen from Lady Gaga, I in my "any color you like as long as it's charcoal" suit.

Comprised almost exclusively of daytime students who make up for their lack of real world work experience with enthusiasm and binge drinking (I love you guys but you know it's true), Prom was held at the Hotel Boulderado, Boulder's oldest, sweetest, and ridiculously expensive hotel. I'm down for conference room ambiance but rumor had it that the keg cost over $300. Clearly, aspiring MBA students should consider the hotel catering business.

The top three best aspects of the night:

1. An afro sporting cameraman. Pics of random people clowning here. 
2. A small cohort of evening students with which to mingle.
3. My former marketing professor who TORE UP THE DANCE FLOOR and then friended me facebook. I accepted, of course. 

The music was handled by one of the students who wielded his iPod dominated by late 90's hip hop songs with Nazi-like control. Unfortunately for me, I felt the lyrics such as Big Pun's "I'm not a playa I just crush a lot" mostly crushing my temple and behind my right eye. It might have been the four glasses of wine but my usually staunch migraine meds had no effect. I knew how badly I felt but didn't realize it showed until I saw photos like this one. I call it: Mask of Pain and Marketing Professor.

Following Prom, Amanda and I resolved to "get dressed up more." I resolved to stretch daily and to hide from all cameras during future migraines.

Fill in the blank

And with the x pick of the third round, the _____________ select Tim Tebow, Quarterback, Florida.

Tim Tebow wants to play quarterback in the NFL. After the senior bowl awkwardness, everyone except for Tim Tebow knows that just isn't going to happen. But this kid is a gamer, a born leader, and he will make an impact-- but where?

I've heard that Jacksonville is so desperate to boost ticket sales that they might take the hometown boy. This would be consistent with the Jaguars' paying good money for bad "skill position players" but it seems like a stretch to me. They need to fill other holes.

Some people have pointed toward New England because the Patriots incorporate elements of the Florida Gators' offense and they also like utility players. Possible, but the Pats don't have a third rounder this year. Would they really trade up to get Tebow? Not likely.


You know who should take Tebow?


Wait for it....

The Miami Dolphins! Tebow is perfect for them. After the Fins' season went down when Ronnie Brown did, they realized that their offense requires two things, either RBs who can throw or QBs who can run. Tebow fits this perfectly. Deep down, even Tebow might agree this is the best fin.

Automatic cat feeder

Starting about an hour before her scheduled feeding times, my 10 year old cat Roxy would begin whining, following me around the house, and generally making herself a nuisance. Also, if I was gone at work, school, or Amanda's house, someone else would have to feed Roxy and deal with the whining. At Amanda's suggestion, I began looking into automatic feeders.

Did you know you can spend over $250 on an automatic pet feeder? Pretty ridiculous.

At a price of $34, this Lentek 6-day feeder works great! It's not something that makes immediate sense when you open it and I have concerns about durability over the long term but it holds six "feedings-worth" and will cycle every 6, 12, or 24 hours. It's relatively cat proof and could be made much moreso with duct tape if necessary.

At precisely 6am and 6pm Roxy gets her dinner. Since I never let her see me stocking the feeder, she has come to accept that the machine is now in charge of distributing food. After one week of use, the amount of whining has dropped considerably. Also, now I can leave for a night or two without having to worry about whether she'll get her two meals a day or whether she'll con the innocent into giving her more.  Now if only I could get an automatic poop scooper for $34.

Why poker is *still* profitable

Since poker is a negative sum game, online poker sites must constantly advertise in order to get new blood. (Why haven't brick and mortar casinos figured this out?).

One form of marketing includes paying the buy-ins for random players and "celebrities" in order to increase media coverage of an event for which one has a large presence. At the $10,000 + $300 main event in Wednesday's PokerStars Caribbean Adventure, 8 lucky schmucks will find themselves across the table from these poker badasses.

1. Joseph Kahn

Joseph Kahn is a big shot music video director best known for directing Britney Spears' "Toxic," Lady Gaga's "Love Game," and Muse's "Knights of Cydonia." He has not, however, directed any runs at tournament titles. Total earnings: $0

2. Orel Hershiser

This Golden Glover, CY Young Award winner, and World Series MVP winning pitcher has infinitely more poker experience than Joseph Kahn. A regular at the $2-$5 live tables in Vegas, Hershiser is still vastly weaker than most players at a big buy-in event. A home run off this former sinkerball master could get 2010 off to an amazing start.

3. Sautron Ralph

Sautron Ralph is listed on the pokerstars website as one of several players who managed to parlay a freeroll tournament into another tournament into a few other tournaments to get into the main event. These players inevitably suck. Really badly. Those with actual poker skill rarely invest time on these types of freerolls. A Google search for "Sautron Ralph" and poker netted zero results. Zero! Who the hell is Sautron Ralph you ask? He is no one. He is not Chris Moneymaker. He is dead money.

Also playing: Boris "Bankroll Buster Becker, Fatima "The other Melo" De Melo, Mats "I check harder" Sundin, Teddy "Footballin" Sheringham, and about 10 no-name freeroll winners.

SYTYCD Music

I came late to the So You Think You Can Dance party but now that I'm here, I have no plans to leave. This show is flawed but amazing. The incredibly obnoxious female judge needs to be replaced and they could cut down on the amount of fluff time. There's also some racist undertones (hip hop artists in caveman outfits? The latin girl getting "on the tamale train?")

Now for the good parts. This show delivers ridiculously good dancing to authentic music. What I mean by that is: unlike Dancing With the Stars which is too cheap to pay the music rights for original songs and "features" D-rate celebrities butchering cookie cutter forms of dance, SYTYCD features incredible dancers performing custom routines to a diverse collection of great music.

Here are a few of my favorite songs from the most recent season. Unfortunately fox has tried to remove all video clips of SYTYCD. They're out there though. Happy hunting. :)

Madcon - Beggin' - SYTYCD routine here (2:20 on the video)

Immediately reminiscent of "El Tango de Roxanne" from Moulin Rouge, Beggin' is a song to rock out to, clean house to, just generally get down to. The Franki Valli version is good too, but I like this one a little better. Oh and Gnarls Barkely called. They want their sound back.

George Baker Selection - Little Green Bag

Made famous by the opening scene in Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs, "Little Green Bag" is a bad m________n song.

Imogen Heap - Aha!

Like a demented Christmas Carol, Aha! is weird weird weird. Imogen Heap sounds like no one else. This song works as the soundtrack to a wide array of imagined acts. I could see a dark love scene, a midnight jewel caper at high speed, a chase down alleys through Chinatown, really anything. The more I listen to this song, the more I love it.

My favorite piece is actually the last song/routine of the season but this blog doesn't support artists who think it's cool to beat women.

Will the real Trucolors, please stand up?

Since entering grad school 18 months ago, I've toned this blog down a lot. I wanted to make sure that I fit into the corporate culture. So I stopped airing dirty laundry and instead, began publishing tasteless, colorless, odorless posts about things other than my life (football, art, music). These posts are all well and good and there will be more like them, but there's something about the business school culture that's incredibly stifling. I feel like I have to dress up for class and talk just like everyone else.

I know now that I will not work in an environment that discourages individuality. Currently my work situation is ideal. Paul encourages me to be myself. This is so wonderful and I'm grateful.

The old 81trucolors had much more character, more reality, in short: more me. I'll probably not put everything on blast but here's hoping this blog will be a little less sterile and a little more real.

I take a lot of inspiration from I Hate My Job, the poorly titled blog by a guy I *secretly* consider to be smarter, better looking, and more successful than me. Want dirty laundry, quirky posts, snarky comments, and general awesomeness? He serves it up "in spades."

I may not put as much $#-- on blast as he does but you should notice a few changes going forward. And yes, I just embedded a 3 Doors Down video on this blog. You all are so proud right now.

Incidentally, this video features a very hairy person who doesn't fit into the prevailing culture. I resent and also like this idea.

Nogain Moreno?

Interesting article here from The Philadelphia Enquirer chronicling Denver first round Running Back Knowshon Moreno's lack of impact. For the record, I never would have taken a running back in the first but gun to my head, would have taken Beanie Wells.

Players I liked instead of Moreno before the draft:

Brian Cushing

Brian Orakpo

Chris "Beanie" Wells

Clay Matthews

Louis Delmas

James Laurinitis

Larry English

Players taken after Moreno I like in hindsight:

Percy Harvin

Kenny Britt

Vontae Davis

Ray Maualuga

Jairus Bird

Need a house in Westminster?

Starting Feb 01, Walker and I are renting our awesome 5 BR house in Westminster. It is huge and comes with a ping pong table. Not sure whether you'll end up working in Boulder or Denver? Westminster is close to both! Here's the Craigslist ad.

The Hillis

Since Corell Buckhalter's injury early in the Indy game, Denver--a run first team-- is averaging 3.0 yards per carry. But this doesn't tell the full story. Denver is horrible in red zone efficiency and equally bad on power runs (situations in which the offense needs 1-2 yards). This tells me that when the team needs to run the ball, it can't.

The Broncos have a completely healthy 240 lb running back named Peyton Hillis, a guy who has great hands, incredible toughness, and a bruising running style perfect for short yardage situations. Most importantly, over his nearly two year professional career, Peyton Hillis is averaging 4.92 yards per carry (sample ~ 80 carries).

I am not the first nor the last but let me add my voice to the din clamoring for him to see more playing time. He is a clutch player and the Broncos desperately need clutch plays. It's time to see more highlights like the ones above.

Things on my mind, now 21 hours before my finance final

10. Squeezing in workouts without squeezing in stretching time is the same as begging for a migraine. I don't deserve pity, I deserve derision (or a personal trainer to whip me).

9. Betting on anything is fun if you win. Paul and I have won $$ on 9 of the last 10 UFC fights.

8. Betting on NFL is not fun. See # 9.

7. Thanks to Amanda I catch things that are racist/sexist all the time. "Ethnic" is not a style.

6. Christmas + finals = stressful. Why don't people post wish lists anymore?

5. If someone had told me, "Be good at math, you can make a lot of money," I'd have applied myself more in high school.

4. Amanda and I recently went on a date. It was a sine curve on the classy scale.

3. The UFC will soon be showcasing a fighter who has been disqualified for "eye gouging, face raking, ear biting, and punching and kicking a referee." This is less classy than my date with A.

2. If my professor makes the final hard, I'll get a D.

1. If my professor makes the final easy, I'll get a B.

Barrel Man to the Stadium in the Sky

I read on the Denver Examiner that Tim McKernan died last Friday. Better known as "The Barrel Man," McKernan was a staple at Broncos games throughout my adolescence. He wore *only???* the barrel at every Bronco home game, rain, snow, or shine.

McKernan captured much of what I love about living in Colorado. He was passionate, creative, weird, a little bit country, and he loved the outdoors.

According to the article, as McKernan's health declined, he was forced to sell his Super Bowl XXXII barrel (for $30,000), which had been autographed by 49 Denver Broncos players. Although he needed the money for health issues, he still donated 10% to a battered women's shelter.

If there is a heaven for the Barrel Man, I know the sunsets there are orange and blue.