Monday, May 24, 2010

Dyeing to avoid surgery?

About 2.5 months ago, I felt a very sharp pain in my shoulder when I attempted to hit (spike) a volleyball. For three weeks, I experienced deep shoulder pain when shampooing my hair, putting on a t-shirt, or making any arm motion over my head. I still cannot do pushups, throw a baseball, or pick up my laptop without immediate pain.

Tomorrow at 7:45a I go for an MRI with contrast of my shoulder. This means that specialists will inject a dye of some sort into my shoulder that should help in diagnosing any soft tissue damage. My classmate Todd described this procedure as getting stuck with a needle "fit for a horse." I am nervous for the horse needle, the damage to my wallet, and most of all, for the results.

Friday, May 14, 2010


The Good: I'm enjoying management accounting, my first class this summer. Naomi Soderstrom is one of the smartest profs I've had in Business School. She is an uber nerd. Her lectures are fast paced, fun, and come with all the chocolate covered espresso beans I can eat (scary). Last night after class, I sat down with a Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale and Bartle Bull's The White Rhino Hotel, a prequel to one of my favorite books, A Cafe on the Nile. Also, Amanda and I recently went camping in Moab. This trip was hugely sucessful (more on this trip soon).

The Bad: I hate to be that guy but there's been some bad. It's not really fit for the blogosphere though.

The Ugly: Dr. Eric McCarty at the CU Sports Medicine clinic thinks I may have a torn labrum and has recommended I get an MRI. I'm no hypochondriac but after reading up on labrum tears, this sounds very much like what I feel. I'll keep you posted.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Is Your Mother a Prostitute?

No this isn't the latest Cosmo test. It was actually a question posed to potential NFL first round draft pick Dez Bryant by the Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland in a pre-draft interview. After Bryant reported the question, public outcry reached incredibly high levels. Ireland has since apologized to Bryant but his query still may end up costing him his job. Question is, was Ireland in the wrong to ask this admittedly very insensitive question?

From Ireland's perspective:
Now this is obviously an insulting question and probably was even intended to be so. General Managers are under intense pressure to draft young men who will perform well on and off the field. This potential draft pick has a history of off-field issues. The NFL punishes players and teams for morality issues even if no criminal charges get filed. Ireland must be able to accurately assess the risk that Bryant is going to get in trouble down the road. As the Dolphins enter a window of playoff contention they can't afford to squander their first round pick. It's important to know how Bryant responds to adversity and unpleasant situations. Also, for the record there's a pretty good chance she is a prostitute.

Let's get one thing clear. This is not your standard job interview. This is the NFL draft, wherein players submit to all sorts of physical and psychological pokes, prods, tests, and measurements. Why? Because the 32 people drafted in the first round this year will be given somewhere between $6 Million and $42 Million guaranteed. Standard job interview rules don't apply.

From Bryant's perspective:
Bryant is in an impossible situation here. If he calmly fields this incredibly offensive question he may be labeled as soft, or a pansy--a kiss of death in the human meat-grinder of an industry that is the NFL. If he tells this @$$hat where to shove it he may fall out the first round for "having issues", thereby losing his big payday and his ability to immediately get his mom (prostitute or not) off the streets where she was selling cocaine last year to survive.

Furthermore, this question is simply irrelevant to determining Bryant's potential. He, like many football players came from a very difficult background but whether or not Bryant's mom is a prostitute has no baring on his ability to play football.

Finally, would a white draft prospect be asked this question? Would a middle-aged white man from Texas who holds all the power in this dynamic dare ask a white student this? Unlikely. Must Bryant, who will almost certainly endure numerous injuries and ultimately shorten his life expectancy be expected to break himself for a racist jerk like this?

From my perspective:
Ireland shouldn't have asked the question. Period. It's offensive and really, is this going to help him make a decision? Ireland works for one of the few NFL teams who have (minority) owners of color. Furthermore, the league is clearly trying to expand viewership in non-white markets. Questions like this set the Dolphins and the league back. It's just not worth it. Also, if Ireland really needs to know the answer, couldn't he just ask Bryant to expand on his childhood?

With its measuring, testing, and guesswork regarding the likely productivity individual humans, 65% of whom are black, the NFL draft bears an uncomfortable resemblence to slave auctions. Teams all but ask players to show them how nice their teeth are. Is there a more dehumanizing interview process in America? (Check Chris Rock for a very NSFW piece on the NFL)

The difference is, electing to play football at the highest level is a legitimate choice. No one is forcing Bryant or any of the other thousands of players who declare themselves draft-eligible to do this. While Ireland's question is insensitive, unnecessary, and probably racist, he should have the right to ask whatever he wants. This isn't a Kumbayya session, it's football. His job rests on him being able to assess talent and risk.

Personally, if you are interviewing me for that kind of cash you can ask ask, intimate, or outright accuse me, my family, or anyone else. I may not like it and I'll never respect you as a person but it'll be worth it in the end. No one will make YouTube highlight reels about Jeff Ireland. They've already made 800 about Bryant.



 photo from

One of my favorite parts of summer is the abundance of fresh fruit. Every year I eagerly await the coming of Costco's 2lb box of Ranier Cherries. Yellow cherries are no gimmick friends. They tend to be 130% to 200% of the cost of red cherries but when you bite down through a really sweet meaty cherry, you'll know where that money went. I have put down the entire 2lbs box in one setting. This is not recommended.

Currently King Soopers (dumbest name for a grocery store ever) is selling whole pineapples for $3 (Sooper Card required). I don't want to know what insidious deals one has to strike with other countries in order to get $3 pineapples but damn these things are good.

Know before you go: