Breakupdate

Since Amanda and I broke up, I've been eating better, and running a lot. I know that these are completely predictable and perfectly cliche but they feel good. Instead of getting a haircut, AKA the most cliche move of all time, I've begun growing a beard.

I've also been playing online poker.

Instead of trying to consciously choose how to feel, I've just been doing whatever feels right. Sometimes this involves listening to sad music, sometimes it involves midnight trips to King Soopers for broccoli. Mostly I've been spending more time with various friends.

I also signed up for a library card and have been devouring mountaineering books. These books really fall into two categories: 

1. I survived a disaster and here are pictures (e.g. Into Thin Air, Annapurna, In the Hall of the Mountain King)
2. I can't explain why I climb but I will try (Mixed Emotions, Above the Clouds, In the Shadow of Denali, Climb)

The best books combine the two. Walker has declared that he will climb Longs Peak this summer. I definitely plan to accompany him. My goal is to use the Bolder Boulder and possibly the Garden of the Gods half marathon as tune ups for 14er season.

I went dancing at the Mercury Cafe last Tuesday and had a wonderful time. If felt as if it my soul had let its hair down. I have at times described the swing scene as petty (and I even helped cause it to be so) but since the 23 Skidoo implosion of 2008, the scene has become more friendly and more supportive. Dancing on Tuesday, enveloped by great music (somewhat of a Merc rarity these days), I felt a wonderful combination of nostalgic, comforted, and Sasha Fierce.

The chief beneficiary of the breakup has been Roxy the cat. She never suffered for lack of affection but now I'm home every night and it's pretty easy to read with one hand and give Roxy love with the other. She has reclaimed her spot at the top of the bed. 

As for dating, I know I'm not ready but online profiles are siren songs. I set up a minimal profile and have been lurking. Even down the road, I don't know if I'll muster the energy to meet random people and hope for sparks. Perhaps in a few months...

Life is good. I am about to turn 29. I miss blogging but have struggled with how much to share. 

Truman Bradley is single

Since most of you read facebook before you see this, you probably already know.

I honestly don't really know what to say. We got off to a rocky start, patched things up, and then fell apart over the last four days. For the record, I do believe that online dating is possible and that there are amazing people out there because I met one. In the end, I don't think it was a good fit though.

Unlike a few past relationships, I didn't blog much about Amanda's and mine. I'm not sure whether that was good or bad.

I had a lot to do with this breakup. I was pretty self-centered during the relationship and although I didn't know it at the time, I made trying new things very scary and ugly. I was frequently unclear about communicating care and concern and I fought tooth and nail sometimes. I had difficulty showing empathy. These are all things I will work on. I also learned a lot of things and experienced a great deal of emotional growth, if you will. Perhaps a post on that later.

I believe Amanda and I will both be better off down the road but today I am sad.