banana response

Yesterday I posted an open letter regarding Del Monte's packaged bananas but apparently I emailed the wrong Del Monte. Here is the response:

Dear Truman,

Thank you for your e-mail about packaged bananas.

The story you are referring to involves Fresh Del Monte Produce, Inc, not Del Monte Foods. Del Monte Foods is one of the USA's largest producers, distributors and marketers of premium quality branded consumer foods and pet products. Our line of processed fruit products includes canned fruits, as well as premium processed chilled fruit sold in the produce section of your store. For a full list of our chilled fruit products, visit http://www.delmontechilledfruit.com/fruit-products/

Del Monte Foods is not affiliated with Fresh Delmonte, a company that markets fresh fruits, fresh vegetables and fresh produce under the Del Monte brand. The product you contacted us about is not made by our company, but instead is a product of Fresh Del Monte. Their website is www.freshdelmonte.com, and their contact information is:

Del Monte Fresh Produce Co.
P.O. Box 14922 2
Coral Gables, FL 33114-9222

email: Contact-US-Executive-Office@freshdelmonte.com
Consumer toll free number: 1-800-950-3683

I appreciate the opportunity to respond and hope this information is helpful.

Cathy, Del Monte Foods Consumer Affairs

Open Letter to Del Monte: Why you are no longer top banana

Thanks to Adventures in Denver (aka Amanda) for this bit of news regarding Del Monte's plan to sell packaged individual bananas. Oh and did you know that this move is being touted by the company as green? You can read blatant attempt at doublespeak in an article posted by Daily Mail. The only thing green about this bogus new plan is the banana itself. Ahem,

I'm writing in response to the unveiling, or should I say the repackaging of your flagship product, the banana. I won't bore you by stating facts that you already know, that the banana comes off the tree clad in a perfect wrapper already, etc.

What is upsetting is that you are touting this wrapper as green. It's not green, it's wasteful and unnecessary. Telling us, your consumers that it's green is simply insulting because it implies that we're stupid.

Selling bananas at gyms and gas stations is a great idea. But please don't  waste this planet. Please consider a return to naked fruit.

When you do, I'll consider buying your brand of products again.

Open Letter to Groupon.com

Dear Groupon.com,

I love your company and have purchased several awesome deals. My girlfriend has purchased even more of them. I was appalled however, after viewing your Super Bowl ad mocking the situation in Tibet. I was then outraged several days later when I saw another of your ads, this one poking fun at endangered whales. Neither of these things are funny in any way. "Oh... the situation in Tibet is horrible! But don't worry, Groupon let's me get tasty curry?" That's textbook offensive.

Your company does well because people like my girlfriend and I read your emails and then buy those products or services. I can't speak for her but I promise I will not be opening your emails or buying any groupons for as many months as I see offensive ads. So far we're at two. I will however be checking out your competitors. See you in mid April, unless you prefer to promote your company by making fun of AIDS or something equally "funny."

Truman Bradley

Why poker is *still* profitable

Since poker is a negative sum game, online poker sites must constantly advertise in order to get new blood. (Why haven't brick and mortar casinos figured this out?).

One form of marketing includes paying the buy-ins for random players and "celebrities" in order to increase media coverage of an event for which one has a large presence. At the $10,000 + $300 main event in Wednesday's PokerStars Caribbean Adventure, 8 lucky schmucks will find themselves across the table from these poker badasses.

1. Joseph Kahn

Joseph Kahn is a big shot music video director best known for directing Britney Spears' "Toxic," Lady Gaga's "Love Game," and Muse's "Knights of Cydonia." He has not, however, directed any runs at tournament titles. Total earnings: $0

2. Orel Hershiser

This Golden Glover, CY Young Award winner, and World Series MVP winning pitcher has infinitely more poker experience than Joseph Kahn. A regular at the $2-$5 live tables in Vegas, Hershiser is still vastly weaker than most players at a big buy-in event. A home run off this former sinkerball master could get 2010 off to an amazing start.

3. Sautron Ralph

Sautron Ralph is listed on the pokerstars website as one of several players who managed to parlay a freeroll tournament into another tournament into a few other tournaments to get into the main event. These players inevitably suck. Really badly. Those with actual poker skill rarely invest time on these types of freerolls. A Google search for "Sautron Ralph" and poker netted zero results. Zero! Who the hell is Sautron Ralph you ask? He is no one. He is not Chris Moneymaker. He is dead money.

Also playing: Boris "Bankroll Buster Becker, Fatima "The other Melo" De Melo, Mats "I check harder" Sundin, Teddy "Footballin" Sheringham, and about 10 no-name freeroll winners.

A minor in finance?

Now, six weeks away from the half way point of my MBA, I find myself more more and more interested in marketing. Welcome to the marketing tag, where I'll be posting little advertising and marketing tidbits that strike my fancy.

Below is an ad for MyFinanceLab.com, a site (marketed to both teachers and students) making it easy for teachers to grade and hard for students to cheat. That's all well and good but....

Wow, what a boobtastic "college student!" Hands on? This is not subtle and not appropriate. I don't want to sound like an old man but this girl looks 15. Yes, sexy women sell lots of things, usually beer. But this is a bit much for an academic site. I'll stick to the hands-off part, thanks.